Matilda: Lessons on Interpersonal Trauma Through a Child’s Eyes
Who would think that a child’s story could ever offer lessons in something as complex as trauma? Roald Dahl wrote the children’s book Matilda in 1988, and later it hit the world as a successful film and stage musical. But it’s popularity is not just because it’s a riveting children’s story.
The plot is about a genius child named Matilda. A survivor of interpersonal trauma, Matilda begins to extricate herself from her chaotic home environment by, unbeknownst to her parents, visiting a public library and teaching herself to read. Matilda practices her unexpected power of telekinesis (the supposed inducement of movement of objects by mental or spiritual power) to carry out various successful pranks. She does this to avenge her abusive and criminally-minded father who obstructs Matilda from meeting her needs, e.g., to escape via reading. In starting school she astonishes her teacher, Miss Honey, who tries to communicate Matilda’s genius to Matilda’s neglectful parents and the brutal headmistress, Miss Trunchbull, but to no avail. We learn that when Miss Honey was a child her mother died. Then after her father’s suspicious death, she was raised by an abusive aunt, who dubiously inherits all, forcing Miss Honey to live in poverty in a derelict farm cottage.
Empathic moments transport us beyond good over evil, justice delivered, or a story of a smart girl managing a difficult, toxic family system while rescuing others. Matilda offers learning opportunities via psychological themes and messages, ordinarily invisible to the public gaze. At least six trauma-informed lessons on interpersonal trauma emerge:
#1. Just because someone has not been diagnosed does not mean that person is not mentally ill. Matilda’s parents are undiagnosed. But individuals, such as Matilda, identify their parent as disturbed due to their parent’s parenting style or behaviours, and may go through a process of deciding in their own mind that, to self-protect, estrangement is needed (Agllias, 2013). Often this is because their parent indeed has a mental illness (e.g., Landerman, George, & Blazer, 1991). Some offspring of sick parents have long suspected their (undiagnosed) parent as having a severe mental illness (e.g., Camden-Pratt, 2002; Nathiel, 2007; Secunda, 1997). Matilda reminds us to respect such children’s judgements (Misrachi, 2012).
#2. Freeing up the minds of traumatised people gives them much-needed freedom to fulfil their own needs, allowing them to reach their potential. After it is revealed that Miss Honey’s abusive aunt is in fact Miss Trunchbull, Matilda employs her by now well-practiced powers of telekinesis during a lesson given by the sadistic headmistress. Posing as the spirit of Miss Honey’s late father, Matilda telekinetically lifts some chalk to the blackboard. All in the classroom witness how this same piece of chalk writes, with a presumed invisible hand, demanding Miss Trunchbull return Miss Honey’s house and wages. This public shaming explodes Trunchbull’s secret. Stopping secrets is a necessary prerequisite for freeing up the mind to heal post-trauma (Summit, 1983). The stolen wages and house are returned to Miss Honey, Trunchbull flees from her job and the region forever. The survivors and the school community now have much-needed peace of mind. Matilda’s power of telekinesis evaporates but she is relieved; Miss Honey explains it’s due to Matilda’s mind being freed up for better things.
#3. Early interpersonal trauma is never forgotten. If not remembered by the mind, trauma will be remembered by the body (van der Kolk, 2014; Ogden, Minton & Pain, 2006; Rothschild, 2000) often manifesting as physical illness (Felitti, Anda, et. al., 1998). Yet in pursuit of more pressing (real or symbolic) needs, people experiencing interpersonal trauma will often forget who is ultimately responsible for their maltreatment (Freyd, 1996).
Matilda does not have a need to forget her neglect or abuse, or conform to toxic parental figures. But her brother does. Rather than fleeing from a toxic family system, as Matilda did, he remains loyal to their abusive parents. As a “captive” (Herman, 1992a), he is unable to leave or to create psycho-emotional distance from toxic attachment figures (Misrachi, 2012). He therefore risks entering the sticky psychological web of ‘traumatic bonding’ where one uses their power advantage to abuse the other, such as that between adult and child (Courtois, 2010). By absorbing his parent’s will, Matilda’s brother risks being unable to exit their toxic family system. Instead, he seeks to satisfy imagined emotional, psychological and physical survival needs from abusive parental figures. He, unlike his sister, has a need to forget (Freyd, 1996).
#4. Survivors of interpersonal trauma need distance from perpetrators. Psychological distance begins with geographic/spatial distancing (e.g., achieved by Matilda’s secretive excursions to a public library) before transforming into a need to psychologically separate, cut off (Briere, 1992). For Matilda, cutting off happens when her devious parents hastily pack to escape the police. Seizing this opportunity, a well-prepared Matilda requests not to join them but instead live with Miss Honey. She thrusts adoption papers in front of her panicking parents. They hurriedly sign before escaping. By successfully being adopted by Miss Honey, Matilda creates for herself much-needed distance from her parents. Offspring who maintain a safe psychological and emotional distance from abusive parents fare better in life than those who do not (e.g, Courtois, 2010; Herman, 1992b; Anthony & Cohler, 1987).
#5. Surviving interpersonal trauma is a lifetime phenomena and one ought not be left alone unsupported. Results from longitudinal studies and clinical observations confirm that trauma takes a long time to surface and is then carried forth across the lifespan (Felitti & Anda, 2010; Szajnberg, Goldenberg & Harari, 2010). In Matilda this message is delivered differently. Time is collapsed. Matilda is able to achieve what her adult counterpart, Miss Honey, could not. By collapsing time, readers (or audience in the case of the movie or stage musical) are given ideas on what it might take to survive interpersonal trauma. For instance, rather than remain alone or neglected at home, Matilda sets off to discover a public library. At school she is not left alone and unsupported because she encounters a supportive teacher, Miss Honey, and manages to find a few friends. A strong message is clearly delivered to all abused and neglected people (big or small) not to remain alone with trauma (Gold, 2000).
#6. The needs of people recovering from interpersonal trauma are multidimensional. Here, Matilda becomes a clear case study. Research on mourning and recovery for survivors of early maltreatment can be distilled and adapted into the Matilda narrative. For instance, guided by Bloom’s (2002) research, the following set of tasks, highlighted as needs, demonstrates this specific lesson on interpersonal trauma:
(i) Recognise (trauma-based) problems and understand their origins. This need is unambiguously revealed;
(ii) Give up (former) reliable coping skills. Matilda uses telekinesis as a coping mechanism but once such extraordinary power and control was no longer necessary she gladly gives it up. Giving up this coping skill also unburdened the child protagonist of parent-specific responsibilities (Chase, 1999);
(iii) Attach to more functional attachment figures. Unlike her brother, Matilda achieves this task. By attaching herself to Miss Honey, she loses the highly pathological attachments to her parents and brother. The risk of the offspring remaining emotionally and psychologically attached to abusive parents is asserted by Gold’s (2000) and Misrachi’s (2012) research;
(iv) Give up fantasies of restoration. Matilda knows that fantasies of restoration could not be realised in her family of origin, that amends won’t be made, loveless parents won’t turn into loving ones, and innocence won’t be fully retrieved;
(v) Make meaning. Miss Honey has the insight that Matilda’s “enormous brain was going crazy with frustration… [but now] all that mental energy is being used up in class” (Dahl, 1988, p.223);
(vi) Work with the non-verbal. As a non-verbal art form or enactment, telekinesis empowered Matilda, facilitating safe integration of the verbal and non-verbal aspects of overwhelming traumatic experiences;
(vii) Move on. Final acceptance of losses for abused individuals is often marked by psychological and physical separation, i.e. cutting off from their abusers. “If this is a parent, separation is not straightforward because home is not a safe spring-board into an adult world or a secure base to retreat to if difficulties arise” (Walker, 1992, p.194). Thus a need to move on cannot be confined to just magic. Abused children cannot move on while accommodating a perpetrator’s secret (Summit, 1983). The public shaming (via telekinesis) of Trunchbull’s unethical behaviours, involving unlawful inheritance, explodes a well-kept secret, allowing the victims to move on; and
(viii) Transform the pain. Ultimately it is hoped that adult survivors of childhood abuse and neglect will be able to transform their pain into something constructive and of value to themselves and others, what Judith Herman (1992a) calls a “survivor mission”. Matilda not only lifts herself out of darkness, she ultimately transforms her pain into something of value to others. Not only to Miss Honey, but also to us as witnesses to the unfolding drama.
Matilda is a children’s story that knits optimism, control and hope together. Its popularity can be attributed to magical realism where magical elements blend to create a realistic atmosphere. One patient who saw the stage musical with their child said: “It had some striking resemblance to my childhood… amazing how the human spirit can outshine despair and disappointment”. But it does more than that. The setting of what appears to be an ordinary looking, mundane, family environment is invaded by something too unusual to believe, yet very much needed as a source of deep relief. Echoing trauma research, Matilda delivers unanticipated medicinal value through the eyes of a child.
Suzette Misrachi, Master of AdvSW (Research), MBSW (Acc — Medicare). International presenter, consultant and professional supervisor specialising in trauma and grief. For info on Suzette’s workshops, including “Legacies unmasked: Recognising and working with the lasting trauma for adults raised by parents with a serious mental illness”, email suzette.misrachi@gmail.com Website: http://goo.gl/W47Mr
This article was originally published in Mind Cafe, February, 2017, Issue 27.
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